Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
