help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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