where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize