Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
