i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I AM VODKA MAN
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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