Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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