why didn't you poke me back
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize
