I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
