so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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