Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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