my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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