can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
