So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
