We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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