so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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