It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
