i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize