Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
