dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
