No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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