Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
