no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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