remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
