what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
