I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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