his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
