If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You did what with his pubic hair?
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