Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
