It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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