no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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