We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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