she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I smell stomach acid.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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