did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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