On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
