It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
