How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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