I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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