At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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