Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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