please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize