he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
