so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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