I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
