Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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