My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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