White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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