i wish my penis had a tongue
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
