Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
