i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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