someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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