You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
