I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
