he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
