She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
