My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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