you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
