I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize