well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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