she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
