I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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