Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
