I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
